Optimism - A choice, and a LEARNED trait
Nygårdsparken, Norway in the winter. Photo by: James Hansen
So, I’m going to change the style of how I write these blogs to make it more interactive to you 🫵 my dear readers. First, we’ll begin with how I learnt the skill and so you can do it the same way, but also, I will include my answers to the exercises I put out. This helps me in a more of a, “practice what I preach” approach, gives you an example to see, keeps me accountable, and helps us be more of a community to improve out lives for the long-term.
As I wrote in the newsletter, no-one directly ‘taught’ me optimism, but I really wish someone did, because it would have helped me a lot more in my early 20’s, perhaps I would have taken more risks, or done things a bit differently, who knows…
How I started to learn optimism was through my mentor. He was a business owner, and was the MOST optimistic ☀️ person I had ever met. Anytime I asked him how he was doing when we met, the answer was usually something close to, “a box of fluffy ducks” (this is an Australian/New Zealand saying. It means: something is very charming, pleasant or delightful, like “everything is great”, not just, “fine”). He gave me encouragement and hope to start a business, and somehow, just by being around him and his very positive/optimistic attitude helped me to become more optimistic, almost like a process of diffusion (where chemicals go from an area of high concentration, to low concentration, like how tea is highly concentrated in the teabag, but in water, it diffuses out until all the water is tea).
KEY POINT:
· Get around optimistic people! People that encourage 💪 and build you up, and are also people with a positive 😁 outlook! This is an easy way to start learning optimism, but you must recognize the optimism in others, and be willing to learn it. Ask them about it if you want!
Over the period of months to years, I learned other optimism tools but they were never framed around the word, “optimism”, or having a, “positive outlook”. For example:
1. Intentionally telling myself that good things were going to happen
2. Giving myself positive affirmations by talking to myself in a mirror
3. Doing ‘power poses’ (yes this surprisingly works, but you have to mean it!)
4. Choosing to believe in positive outcomes
5. Actively looking for the positives in situations whether they were good or bad.
A quote from the book: Ecclesiastes, found in the Bible, also reminded me a lot about optimism:
Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 (NIV):
"I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God."
Sunlight on a misty morning. Notterøy, Norway. Photo by: James Hansen
Beyond all of this, optimism is like a muscle, or a reflex, it can be learned, it can be trained, and it can be grown over time. It just depends on if you 🫵 choose to start using it or not. It needs intention, desire, and action.
The result of all this: Becoming Optimistic is just a process of choice, but being around others who are optimistic will help too. Being optimistic (like a lot of learned traits) can occur both passively and actively.
So, what did I do? I looked for the positives in almost everything, started to expect good things, and to this day, I still will occasionally do power poses in the mirror, or even tell myself self-affirmations in the mirror too. I will admit, optimism has become much more of a ‘reflex’ these days. If negative things happen, my brain just ‘auto-searches’ for the positives, and if it can’t immediately find something, then I actively choose to find something positive. But this takes time, training, and patience. Look for the positives!
My BPS exercise:
I’m going to give you the ‘Highlights’ of my BPS exercise, but if you are wondering how to write it, write it like a story, i.e.:
My Best Possible Self achieved all the goals I set to do. I managed to [insert first few big goals, dreams, etc. here].
If that doesn’t work for you, you can structure it like I have done here: Bullet-points. For me, this just works easier and helps me organise my thoughts.
My BPS:
· Norskiwi has become a successful company, my full-time job, and a community of people. It has employees that enjoy what they do for a living. People that are in the community engage in livestreams, and we even meet at conferences. The lessons I have constructed have actively helped people, they have seen the difference, and helped others with the lessons they have learnt.
· I have opened a physiotherapy clinic for humans and their animals to help other recover after surgery or to prevent future injuries. This includes exercises alongside clinical nutrition.
· On YouTube, Norskiwi has lessons, but also has a Dungeons and Dragons following, where I have been a Dungeon Master, and a player. In a group, we have done live show sessions, and made a series on YouTube that people enjoy and follow.
· I own a type of fruit farm, most likely plums, and have beehives on this farm. I make a second company that works with and celebrates beekeeping in Norway as well as different beekeeping areas such as making mead wines, balms, creams, honeys, sauces, etc. This includes training others how to be beekeepers as well. This farm also offers physiotherapy patients a chance to visit and enjoy the atmosphere as a part of the process of their recovery.
· Having enough financial freedom to be generous and help others in my family financially.
· I got to be an active role in eco-restoration and helping with global issues to restore environments. This includes inspiring others to be able to do the same.
· Actively working with wildlife, especially Norwegian wildlife on a regular basis in some capacity.
· Having a family of my own, as well as a black cat, and a boa constrictor as pets.
· I got to black-belt and became a national BJJ champion, then decided to begin teaching others BJJ and use it alongside general fitness at the gym to stay in shape and to improve/retain flexibility and strength. This includes doing fun group, team, or partner workouts.
· I have a solid group of friends that I regularly keep in contact with, and we do fun activities together. I am also part of a Christian Church and help as a small group leader.
· I take the field of physiotherapy further by working with others, and learning more about the physics side of medicine associated with physiotherapy to help people and animals recover faster and more efficiently.
· I became a published author and investor, and helped teach others to do the same.
· I have given lectures to help others succeed in their lives with practical steps to guide them along the way.
· I am fluent in Norwegian, and use it on a regular basis.
· I have designed and created a board game.
· I have created a successful Print-on-demand clothing store for people to enjoy fun clothes to wear.
· I have worked with others to create a relaxing café that people can come to, relax and enjoy.
· I have collaborated and worked with other successful entrepreneurs and leaders to provide resources for others to help them be successful in their lives too.
Well, now you know what my BPS as of right now looks like! I hope you give the BPS a go too! Just really let yourself dream big! Dream big and see how far you would really like to go if you had no limits! Think of it like this:
“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” – Dr. Robert H. Schuller
And for the Bonus exercise:
What is one new thing that isn’t automatic that contributes something towards this BPS?
A lot of the things I do are already working towards my BPS, but one new thing I am going to start doing, is keep in better contact with friends, as well as talk to them, and others about collaborations, even if it’s just meeting up with someone to discuss ideas, and it’s not a ‘public’ collaboration.
Well, that’s it for this blog! Hope it helps, and feel free to leave any questions or comments here, or back over at the newsletter for Optimism!
